Buzz.Yovia

by Shelley Ontis

My family like to call me “Scrooge” and “Grinch” because I dread Christmas each year. They say I hate Christmas, but that’s really not true. I enjoy it from about 9pm on Christmas Eve until bedtime on Christmas Day. I say that’s long enough. Just because the moment Halloween is over there seems to be this timer tick-tick-ticking down the days and hours we have remaining to get it all done doesn’t mean I have to like it.

By the time my daughter goes to bed on Christmas Eve–with everything finally bought, baked, checked off a list, and mailed–I feel like Scrooge and Grinch have nothing on me! I could out-bah-humbug the best of them. I want it over yesterday. I want to sleep a while and not have to hear a “Merry Christmas” or a sleigh bell for the rest of my life.

Then I watch my favorite holiday movie, A Christmas Story, while I wrap “Santa” presents for the next morning. And I feel a little less like grabbing the bell from a volunteer outside a store and chucking it across the parking lot as far as I can.

A Christmas Story is set a few years before my time, but despite the obvious difference in dress, cars, and kitchen décor, the atmosphere in that movie matched that of my childhood. I had the stay-at-home mom who worried about what the neighbors thought and annually cooked the big turkey dinner. I had the old man who tackled every home improvement project much like Darren McGavin tackled the persnickety furnace, with great zeal and creative adult language that I, like Ralphie, was not supposed to ever have heard. We had the hillbilly bumpkin neighbors with many dogs—no, wait, we were the bumpkins with the dogs, but I digress.

Who hasn’t had to suck on a bar of soap for some spoken infringement? Well, okay, maybe not everyone, though it was popular when I was a kid. But who hasn’t had her old man glare at her, after being mostly patient for a little while, and demand her to shut up? Who hasn’t been afraid of a playground bully, and didn’t they all have yellow eyes?

Ralphie’s childhood could have been mine, twenty years later, and his desperate longing for that BB gun could have been mine, if you changed the BB gun into a 3-speed bicycle or my very own 8-track cassette player (state of the art at the time).

Photograph by Paddy Patterson. Some rights reserved.

A Christmas Story is, at its heart, about avarice. But it’s a child’s avarice, the innocent and even encouraged greed that we all felt at Christmas. (I dare say, some still feel it.) And instead of beating us over the head with some syrupy moral at the end like so much predictable Christmas fare, it turns out to be okay that he wanted that BB gun so badly he could think of nothing else all December. When a BB ricochets and we hear the crunch of his glasses underfoot, we giggle and shrug and think, “well at least he didn’t shoot his eye out”. The movie understands we’ve all been there: we’ve skinned our knees after begging for those metal wheels that clip onto our shoes, and we’ve danced on the bed when we’re not supposed to and heard the sickening crack of the new 8-track player hitting the floor. And then frantically tried to figure out a way to make ourselves look blameless!

We did that stuff, like Ralphie, because we were kids. And though messy, loud, and destructive at times, it’s okay to be a kid. And it’s okay to be an imperfect parent, too, doing the best you can with what you have.

The old man in A Christmas Story goes to work in the morning, comes home at night, and clearly has left the brunt of the child-raising to his wife, who seems to cook the same dinner perpetually and still can’t get the smallest one to eat in any kind of socially acceptable manner. Sound familiar? But they love each other. The old man and his wife have a tender moment at the end, drinking wine and watching the snow fall. Mother and son bond in a new way with the secret about the fight (and more cursing), as do son and father. If you missed Darren McGavin’s slight smile of amusement after Ralphie drops the F-bomb, you need to watch it again.

In a time when it seems that Christmas is about nothing more than going and doing and getting, this movie inspires in me a kind of humorous nostalgia, a feel-good feeling without the saccharine greeting card sentiment. I can’t seem to find that anywhere else. So I watch A Christmas Story while I wrap my daughter’s presents on Christmas Eve, a tradition that officially heralds in my Christmas Spirit.

For a couple of hours I’m taken back to my own childhood and the Christmases I loved, and all the Christmases with my daughter. I think of her running from her room each year like Ralphie and Randy did, and like I did, hoping for that one special thing that Santa just had to bring–because Christmas is magical and Santa knows everything. I watch it and reminisce, and I love Christmas again.

Until December 26^th.

by Adrienne Amos

Being a sentimental romantic all year long means Christmas brings it all to one glorious head, and I love it! From the Grinches and Scrooges to the festive music playing everywhere you go, it’s all part of tradition I really can’t do without. When evening comes and it’s time to wind down, Christmas movies are just what the doctor ordered. From touchingly funny to tearjerkers, they all have a special place in my heart and holiday routine.

We can relate to the antics of Chevy Chase and his holiday lights fiasco (National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation) or Arnie trying desperately to get that special toy (Jingle All the Way). It wouldn’t be Christmas without some telling of the classic A Christmas Carol, though some versions are more fun than others. A few years back Sam Elliot played a single father trying to cope with economic difficulties while raising a daughter devoted to Christmas (Prancer)–that took a whole box of Kleenex to watch. Short cartoon classics permeate the small screen from Thanksgiving onward, and for some it just isn’t Christmas without Rudolph and the Peanuts gang. This year Shrek joined in the holiday cartoon marathon. It was a delightful film that reminded us the best-laid plans are always what the season is all about. Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas with a miracle or two, so Miracle on 34^th Street is a must.

Miracle on 34^th Street via S. Herman. Some rights reserved.

For sheer family joy there are the three Santa Clause movies with Tim Allen. “Hot chocolate and marshmallows coming right up!” is truly The Polar Express, heartwarming and worth watching season after season. Angela Lansbury did a musical Mrs. Santa Claus for Hallmark Entertainment a few years ago, which showed us how important she is to Santa and Christmas. Speaking of Hallmark, they even have commercials like mini Christmas stories that can make me cry and go “awwwwwwww”!

Come Christmas Eve there’s a movie originally done for television with Loretta Young (I know most of you are too young to remember her!) that will have you reaching for tissues often as well. Its premise of a charitable wealthy woman who’s estranged from her grandchildren because of her son touches the heartstrings of anyone who has been far from family at this time of year.

Okay, by now you’ve figure out that I’m addicted to Christmas and Christmas movies! Each serves a purpose and evokes a multitude of emotions. Yet I still haven’t told you which film is my all-time favorite, so bear with me…

Before I reveal my true favorite I must tell you about one more movie. For sheer fun rent Holiday Inn. It’s old and in black and white, but it debuts the Christmas song that later became the title for my favorite Christmas movie, which is White Christmas. Yes, I know it’s ancient and schmaltzy, but then so am I!

Why is it my favorite? The story is pretty simple and basic for this time of year. You know the one—boy meets girl, they fall in love, they separate, and they reunite. But it’s also a story about caring and sharing, and that is the basis for the season.

White Christmas is funny, with this wonderful cast of crazy characters that are like so many people we have known or know. Much of the script has become tag lines for my son and me over the years, so watching it brings him home, if only in my heart. It focuses on mostly ordinary people (even if they all seem to be in better financial shape than many of us). It’s not preachy, nor is anyone trying to convince us they are perfect. Every one of the principle characters makes mistakes along the way. Their concerns are real—a place to live, making a living, and finding their own happiness.

The title song alone can make me cry because of its simplistic beauty, so when it is part of a movie that features other great music I must watch! “Count Your Blessings” is also a wonderful song from this movie. It’s a quiet reminder that we should all be thankful for what we have and not stress over what we don’t.

The dancing isn’t quite the dancing of today, but Vera Ellen as the younger sister is fantastic to watch. Even on my best days when I was in great shape I couldn’t do in flats what she does in high heels. For the older generation there are the legends: Bing Crosby, Rosemary Clooney (George’s aunt, for you youngsters), and the remarkable Danny Kaye. For the young folk who are unaware, in his heyday Danny was one of the most all-around talented guys in the business. He sang, he danced, he did comedy, and he acted. After the holidays, those of you with children should rent Hans Christian Andersen, which truly showcased his talents.

The show’s finale would make the perfect Christmas card. Doors open behind one of the most exquisitely-decorated Christmas trees ever to reveal it all: the snow is falling, a sleigh comes into view, and the four stars get everyone to join in song. Of course, the guys are dressed as Santa (Bing always looked goofy in a hat), and the leading ladies are in beautiful fur-trimmed red dresses. I think those dresses are breathtaking, especially Vera Ellen’s. Since the first time I saw White Christmas one of my dreams has been to someday have a dress like that to wear–and a place to wear it, if only for one night.

It’s memories of Christmases past and the promise of even better ones to come, all rolled into 120 minutes. I think Christmas traditions are to be treasured and preserved, and to remind us us that some things are best left unchanged. Watching White Christmas on Christmas Day is the perfect reminder for me. It’s A Wonderful Life with bells signaling angels getting their wings as presents are opened, while our bellies are bulging from good food and we’re relaxing with a hot cup of coffee or cocoa. In my house that includes watching White Christmas with those I hold dearest. And that is A Christmas Story.

Is God Real?

Funny you should ask! Funny you should ask me, who rarely answers “of course“ or “certainly not!” about anything.

Does God exist? “Of course!“ I proclaim, since I experience that life exists. Don’t we all experience our breath and the extraordinary life force in all living things?

“Of course” does not mean I believe that a monotheistic deity is granting mercy to some but not to others. I answer “Certainly not!” to God’s existence if it means a monotheist’s deity who watches over only true believers.

Recently I was listening to a BBC radio show called Humphreys in Search of God. (You really must try BBC! When it comes to programming, they’re years ahead of NPR.) A world-weary journalist, Michael Humphreys, wants to believe in God but lost his faith after years of reporting from war-torn countries. Humphreys interviews an archbishop, a rabbi, and a Muslim academic. It’s not surprising the men of faith explain that the God principle is much bigger than we can understand, and that is where faith and belief must enter. When living with faith we should not necessarily expect divine intervention, but we should still honor God and pray.

This does not satisfy me. It only brings me back to the ever-present puzzle “either God exists or doesn’t.” It troubles me that with religion, I must use my imagination to accept God’s existence. I don’t need to use faith to see that nature is God. The natural world is what I can accept and honor.

I am also comfortable with Buddhism. Buddhism doesn’t require worship of a God or deity, although Buddhism certainly has spiritual beliefs. A metaphysical slant is not necessary to ascribe to the principle that karma from right actions brings right results. This karma may take many lifetimes to unfold, but that seems better than the concept of hell or salvation. The Four Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path of Buddhism are pragmatic and have enough latitude for me to grasp.

Photograph by SJiong. Some rights reserved.

I sometimes envy people who have a firm belief in the traditional personal God, but are not overbearing about it. They seem to have a deportment, and maybe an entitlement to security that I lack. I work in a southern Christian African American community; answering machines routinely say “Have a blessed day.” If I questioned colleagues with ”Does God exist?” it would result in the response “Go read your Bible“ or “You better get on to church!” This community does not look at human suffering or injustice as proof that God doesn’t exist. Hardship seems to have shored up their faith rather than weakened it.

Butterfly McQueen (the stereotypical house maid Prissy in Gone with the Wind–remember “I don’t know nothin’ ’bout birthin’ no babies!”) was an atheist and a member of the Freedom from Religion Foundation. She said “As my ancestors are free from slavery, I am free from the slavery of religion.” She was a community activist who preferred to clean up blighted neighborhoods than to pray for them.

Questions about God’s reality are often asked of the scientific and intellectual communities. People far more intellectually-endowed than I ponder God. Einstein was deluged with letters asking his opinion on the existence of God. He said “I cannot conceive of a personal God who would directly influence the actions of individuals, or would directly sit in judgment on creatures of his own creation.” But I’m sure he was awed and respectful of the life concepts he studied.

I prefer what Norman Mailer, the recently deceased author, expressed about God. He said that he felt that God is an artist. I agree. The universe is a fascinating creation with a blend of good and bad. Furthermore, we were given brains so we can imagine whatever we want about our existence (and we do!).

Ask me! Is God real? Of course! My version of God exists for me. How about yours?

Submitted by Betty Story, a researcher, writer, and recovering librarian. http://raisondebettyii.blogspot.com/

Photograph by NoHoDamon. Some rights reserved.

10. Not enough screenings of Norma Rae. The magazine The Nation already believes that Hollywood is antagonistic to the working class.

9. The Taft-Hartley Act allows binding arbitration for protection of public health, safety, or interest – not for movies.

8. The Air Traffic Controllers are going to redirect any planes bringing the parties together because PATCO was decertified.

7. Terrorists have infiltrated WGA as an attack on the American pursuit of happiness!

6. Big Oil wants to destroy the greenest industry in America because it is switching from film (petroleum based) to digital. Entertainment doesn’t leave strip mines in its wake, the electricity costs are negligible compared to any other manufacturing industry, and the results are reusable for generations. (You can read how lower cost digital media is making independent films easier to produce on Wikipedia.)

5. The WGA wants to continue the great traditions of American Labor. This battle has been waged since America’s inception.

4. Media moguls think screenwriters will be easy to replace. They are wrong.

3. If screenwriters get power so will software engineers, and Bill Gates is against it.

2. Screenwriters don’t know how to tell their own stories and unions have been objecting to movies for a long time! The New York Times reported strikers objecting to film in 1906.

1. It is a greedy grab for more money by both sides – and greed is never satisfied.

Written by Mary Howell.

The writers are striking! The writers are striking! It’s been over a week since the strike began.

Are your favorite shows affected? If you don’t watch TV, could you care less? Regardless of what you think, screen writers are fellow laborers. Unlike those who speak their words on screen they’re not strutting red carpets, endorsing clothing lines, or receiving the same residuals that make performers and executives wealthy. If you enjoy TV shows on your I-Pod, phone, or computer, you are part of the market that the writers fear is stealing their revenue.

Photograph by “Adam”. Some rights reserved.

The Wall Street Journal reports that in current compensation structure writers of prime time programs earn minimum of $21,000 for a half-hour script or $31,000 for a one-hour script. The main point of the Writers’ Guild of America (WGA) strike, which began on November 5th, is the networks’ hot pursuit of creating web distribution channels with the hope that advertisers will follow. Writers fear that unless they negotiate for residual payments now, they will lose out in the future. Currently, an advertising model for Internet television hasn’t evolved; advertisers still pay more for network television ads than they do for Internet television. Writers receive a flat fee the first two times an episode airs and earn extra fees if the show goes into syndication or sells foreign rights.

The WGA has the memory of their strike in 1985 when the home video market was just beginning. At that time, the production companies called home videos an “unproven market” and the writers accepted a very small percentage of the earnings from it. Now home video sales far outstrip box office sales. According to The New York Times, in 2004 companies made $4.8 billion in home video sales vs. $1.78 billion at the box office.

Negotiations for online or phone distribution are murky because the WGA is asking for the same compensation they receive for cable or pay TV, but networks claim there are as yet no earnings from this new market to use as a basis. The distributors claim that the Internet is a marketing tool rather than a platform for actual viewing. The writers are balking at the idea of writing promotional web content and not being fairly compensated for their work.

But in the end it’s all about us consumers, isn’t it? How does this affect you? Wikipedia (so useful!) has a chart that shows which shows will be affected. Reality shows can carry on with their unscripted spontaneity. South Park is not affected by the strike since its writers aren’t guild members.

What’s going on outside of mainstream media reports? TiFaux has rallied the TV blogs for insider news and opinions to withhold new content. The blog United Hollywood is written by the strike captains and continues to produce updates. This just in: twenty TV Blogs are striking today, too. In solidarity they are going dark.

But how sympathetic are we? I’m sympathetic to everyone struggling to make ends meet. Immigrant laborers should be so lucky as to have the income issues TV writers face. Yes, it’s a lame comparison. It’s like comparing apples to macadamia nuts, or comparing making $21,000 for a half-hour script to earning less than a $6.50 hourly wage.

In 1990 I was on teachers strike for a few weeks in the Virgin Islands because a negotiated raise never reached the our paychecks. We ended up going back to work without our demands met. We needed to pay our mortgages or rent, and buy groceries. But we went back too soon. It took several other strikes against the VI government to secure that raise. If you make a threat, you have to be prepared to follow through.

Photograph by “Adam”. Some rights reserved.

The writers have lifestyles to support, too. Although they are probably beyond living paycheck to paycheck, their work is making executives and performers rich. Having been raised blue collar and schooled in the labor versus management struggle, I know management will always push for more work. It’s labor’s role to not let them get away with it. Not true Marxist theory, but my observations as a laborer.

Submitted by Betty Story. Betty Story is a writer, researcher and recovering librarian. She can be contacted at betstory@storyinfo.net

Dig, if you will, this idea: birth control for pigeons. Linda Vista, a San Diego neighborhood, is apparently so infested with pigeons that the local community board has decided to bring in the big guns to control the bird population. Living in San Diego myself, I’m fairly familiar with the area. There’s certainly a good amount of winged rats in scenic Linda Vista, but it’s nowhere near what you’d find in major urban areas like New York City, Paris, or London.

Photograph by Alessandro Ronchi. Some rights reserved.

In New York, for example, pigeons were turning the daily commute into a minor nightmare. When the famous St. George Staten Island Ferry terminal reopened in 2005 after a lengthy multi-million dollar renovation, weary commuters discovered that the building had been practically overrun by pigeons. The birds managed to build nests all through the ceiling panels, resulting in showers of bird “droppings” and, even more disgusting, the maggots that feed on the feces. The Staten Island commute is already a challenge involving a combination of subway, ferry, and bus, so it’s not hard to imagine that the addition of sky rats would meet with fierce New York-style reprisals. At the time, Councilman Oddo (R) of Staten Island stated: “The reproductive rights of pigeons comes in a distant second to my constituents and their commute.”

In beautiful, suburban Linda Vista, where it’s sunny 330 days per year and the worst that could happen is some unsightly splotches on your parked car, the local residents have also had enough. They’re putting the birds on the pill. The product used is OvoControl P, which is produced locally in San Diego County. OvoControl P doesn’t harm the birds and even allows them to lay eggs. The eggs just don’t hatch, so the bird population gradually declines. OvoControl works by interfering with the development of the vitaline membrane, which separates the egg white from its yolk. So technically the product is not a contraceptive (preventing fertilization) but a contragestive (preventing gestation), making it a form of very early abortion.

Somewhat surprisingly (at least to me), the Humane Society and even PETA seem to be okay with animal birth control, comparing it to the practice of spaying or neutering pets. Birth prevention is better than killing, according to PETA’s version of Planned Parenthood, the ABC (Animal Birth Control) program. Given that the pigeon is considered the number one pest bird in the world, it’s not surprising that PETA would lean towards pro-choice in this case. But it’s hard to ignore that the real cause of the problem in Linda Vista is the fact that good portions of the population actually feed the pigeons, which encourages them to roost in the area. However, after careful consideration it has been determined that it would be easier to implement birth control for pigeons than to retrain the human population not to feed the birds.

Submitted by Stefan Raets. Stefan is a refugee from the corporate world. When he isn’t reading or writing, he’s probably feeding or diapering his newborn son.

A new web series….

War/Dance is a new documentary movie about three brutalized children of Northern Uganda and their dream of musical expression. The documentary is set amidst the violence of the Lord’s Resistance Army (L.R.A.), who kidnap sleeping children to abuse them and force them into rebellion and murder, sometimes even murder of their own families. Despite the horror, War/Dance has captured a beautiful story about the epic, unbreakable spirits of these children.

Image courtesy of THINKFilm

Two years ago Rose, 13, Nancy, 12, and Dominic, 14, were forced from their schoolhouse to become rebel soldiers. They each have unique, heart-wrenching accounts of terror with the L.R.A. as they survive through the memories of familial love and utter strength of their will. Through it all they hold onto their desire to dance and make music.

These beautiful children prepare to compete in the finals at the Kampala Music Festival, Northern Uganda’s biggest event of the year, representing their school from the refugee camp of Patongo. They pour their hearts, souls, and bodies into their music and dance–for their ancestors, their homeland, and for victory. Victory not only for themselves, but for all the children of refugee camps, who would gain respect through competition with children who come from more fortunate backgrounds.

Dominic, a xylophone virtuoso, plays music; Nancy dances; and Rose sings. Together they are an awesome force of life and their refusal to give up hope is an inspiration.

All proceeds of this movie will go directly to the children of Northern Uganda refugee camps. So please, watch this movie and spread the word; it will save lives. The time to help is now. Please watch the trailer at WarDance.org

- Jenni Robison

I listen to audio books while making too frequent treks on I-95. Today’s selection was The World’s Shortest Stories of Love and Death. The criteria for these stories are that they are all 55 words and are about love and death. The stories are the winners of the annual “Fifty-Five Fiction” writing contest held by the New Times in San Luis Obispo.

Listening to these stories and considering the upcoming election, it struck me how succinctness is lacking in political observations. For 30 out of my 55 years I’ve lived outside the U.S. and I’ve grown ambivalent towards American politics. Without any contemporary Winston Churchills to inspire me to longer prose, I’ve decided to sum up who I’m supporting in 2008 and why in 55 words or less.

I support Barack Obama for president because:

• He is an American racial hybrid. His election would be an important statement for the U.S.
• He has stopped wearing his flag pin.
• Obama supports returning veterans.
• HumanEvents.com, “leading the Conservative movement since 1944”, calls him an “Obamination”.

Reason enough for me to support Obama!

Submitted by Betty Story. Betty Story is a writer, researcher and recovering librarian. She can be contacted at betstory@storyinfo.net

Photo by Christopher Cotrell. Some rights reserved.

10. If Dancing with the Stars is any indication, EVERYONE has at least one phone.
9. No need to mess with the Driver’s license issue.
8. Phone Bills act as paper trail.
7. No more hanging chads–the phone company can trace hang-ups.
6. New use for Strategic Defense Initiative–intercept electronic voting fraud.
5. Keeps “Ma Bell” alive.
4. No disenfranchisement–as long as you pay your phone bill.
3. No delay from absentee ballots with international calling.
2. Includes otherwise left out groups–shut-ins, nudists.
1. We’ve already got the whole wire-tapping thing figured out.

Laurel Wilson is a novice screenwriter with an eye toward the political. Readers can contact her at frenlk@yahoo.com